Right now, I hold you safe, nestled under my heart, where you are patiently waiting for some secret signal that will let you know it's time to meet the people in this world who are already so madly in love with you, face to face.
(Either that, or mama is having you officially evacuated on May 25th. Your choice, sweetheart.)
I have spent the past six years dreaming about you, and the past nine months in awe as you formed into reality. I know the biology, but love, when it is happening, it always feels like magic, pure and simple. And after six long years, and nine short months, I will be holding you in a matter of days, and even as I write this, my heart beats faster at the thought, and I cry.
Your brother calls you "darling," and your daddy? I fear he is already a lost cause, fallen at your feet before he even sees you.
I've thought a lot about what it will be like, raising a girl. How I should handle that. What I will tell you. But there's really no planning in parenting, and I know that how we raise you will depend a lot upon who you are, what kind of girl you grow to be...what kind of human you become.
And I realize that, although I dream of you, I cannot and will not dream for you. Your dreams, like your heart, will be your own.
We do want you to have values. We want you to always be true, and genuine, and remember those less fortunate than you. We want you to love others and to love yourself, because what we want for you, our daughter, our only girl, is for you to grow into the woman God intended you to be. We want you to find your voice, your own voice, but we want you to use it for your purpose, not ours.
I want whatever you do to ring with authenticity and purpose, whether that purpose seems grand or seems small. Because if it matters to you, it matters to us.
If you are born to lead, we will cheer you on, and if you tend towards serving, we will help you find an outlet for that, too. If you are born to teach, we will love your confidence. If you are born to learn, like your brother, we will stand in awe of your curiosity - and hope that, even as you learn the science you leave room for the magic, too, because there is room for both. If you are, like your daddy, a born warrior, we will embrace your determination and strength, and if, like your mama, you are made to nurture, we will praise your heart - and help you learn to protect it as well as we can.
And if you are born to breathe fire, my love, we will celebrate your fierce spirit and watch as you set the world ablaze.
But no matter what, wherever you go, whomever you become, you will always be greeted with open arms and parents who will always welcome you home, where you will always be loved, just for being.
Also, no hurry...but you can come at any time. We are ready.
Sort of.
Love,
Mama
